There is what we are thinking about and there is the thought we have about ourself.
Start with what you are thinking about, whatever it is. This is usually a specific event that occurred.
- What is your prevailing thought, the I statement you are making?
- Is that accurate to who you are based on your values?
- How do you feel about that ?
This allows you to distill what you are thinking, from what your thought is, and the feeling it becomes. Knowing what feelings lead to what emotion allows you to examine if what you are expressing is the experience you intend. When there is an intention expression mismatch, then there is an inaccuracy in thought or feeling.
Do not judge this thought as good or bad, just ask yourself is that thought accurate or true. If it is not then create a new, true thought: I can try, I will figure it out, I am safe. This will allow the feelings that extend to be more accurate as well. I like to tell people If your thought is not something that you would say on a job interview or when giving advice to a friend, do not say it to yourself.
Thoughts of "I am deficient, I am not enough", extend to the feelings that lead to the emotion of shame. Shame is a disconnecting emotion that expresses I need value, in other words it expresses I do not have value. If you express shame in a circumstance that does not warrant it, then choose a more accurate thought.
From thoughts feelings emanate - use the energy of your mind to guide you toward a specific emotion based on intention. As intention requires planning, plan to have a thought, that expresses the emotion you need for the experience you want.
By organizing and correctly identifying your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, you will feel more in control. If your thought is not accurate (not true), your emotions are not appropriate (shame), and your experience not authentic (not real), you will feel anxiety - the incongruency between your heart and your mind.
